Build a Spiderweb of Connectedness

Paul’s Blog

December 12, 2020


There are many different views of what success is- having National Championships and All-Americans is what gets you an interview- but that's never been what drove me. The only reason I'm on this earth is to try to pay things forward and to try to help people. I'm a very people attached person, so to me it's just constantly building a spiderweb of connectedness. People call that relationships, but really what it is, is an ecosystem that goes full circle, constantly spinning around and feeding itself.


Trust is a meal served with a teaspoon. It takes time to build, and everyone requires, needs, and deserves their own approach from you. Everyone has a different language. That's why freshmen are very seldom successful because it takes a long time for you to learn what makes them tick, how to motivate, what they need from you, which is sometimes different than what they want from you. You cannot rush this process. It takes time.


People think coaching is like parenting. I've come to understand that coaching is like grandparenting, because at the end of the day, they go home. You need to be consistent and you need to care. The first year I was coaching World Team Tennis, we drafted Monica Seles and James Blake. I called up Billy Jean King and asked her what the hell was I going to tell Monica? She was number four in the world. She told me that everyone, no matter what level they are, wants approval. They want to know that you care intensely about them. It's comforting for successful people to know one thing: that they are loved. It’s comforting that they know, no matter what, on the other side of it, they're going to be loved.

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